A Card Game Gone Very Wrong
by reina-biggerstaff
Summary: Just like the title says, it's a card game gone very wrong...


Title: A Card Game Gone Very Wrong  
  
Authors: reina_biggerstaff and FracturedCrystalRose  
  
Disclaimer: There's some slash, but it's all in good fun. Plus, some Kuwabara-bashing and some Yusuke-bashing, but not much for Yusuke's part.  
  
What You Need to Know to Understand This Fic:  
  
One night, Neko-chan and I, Anna-chan, decided to play a game. I have these Yu Yu Hakusho playing cards, and, in this game we created, we would each take half of the deck. We would take turns, flipping one card over at a time (the cards would be face down). At the beginning, one of us (it was me this time) would start the story, writing about the characters who would appear on the first card. At the next person's turn, he/she would flip over the top card of their deck and write about the characters who would appear on that card. The game would keep going like this, back and forth, until all of the cards were flipped over and the story would be completed.  
  
To more fully understand this fic: My turn is first. Cat's is second.  
  
Anna-chan: Neko-chan and I would like to ask all who read this to, if they have anime playing cards, play this game (2 or more players, of course), and write to us via email about what happened, maybe even send us their stories! Make sure you write them down and put them in a safe place!  
  
And so, it begins.  
  
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Syi: you people are so weird.  
  
One fine day, some strange creature (not She-who-must-not-be-named) sat on Yusuke's head. But for some reason, he didn't want to kill it. Chibi-Oliver: don't ask me!  
  
The strange creature went away, but Kuwabara came along and annoyed Yusuke so much that he tried to run away. He also "interrupted" Hiei and Kurama. Syi: once again.  
  
Hiei and Kurama were 'gonna tape Kuwabara to the ceiling, but they didn't want to touch his less-than-desirable body. Chibi-Oliver: Who can blame them?  
  
Koenma turned into his teenage form, and Hiei tried to kill Kuwabara. Kurama wanted Kuwabara's remains for fertilizer for his roses. Syi: Look, sharp thorns..  
  
Meanwhile, Yusuke chased after that pesky monster thingy, but was severely beaten by Animal Rights Activists. Afterwards, clinging to what life he had left, Hiei and Kurama came by and laughed at him. Chibi-Oliver: I would, too..wuss. Beaten by signs.dork.  
  
A bunch of strange people showed, and everyone but Kuwabara changed into nice clothes. Very nice.*ogles* Then Yusuke came back, ready to pound on Hiei for making fun of him. Syi: Not in that way, you hentai!  
  
Hiei would have beaten the living shit out of Yusuke, but he felt sorry for the pathetic loser. "Go home and cry to Keiko, you pathetic human!" he yelled, laughing maniacally. Yusuke, defeated, whimpered and crawled away like the moronic oaf that he is. Chibi-Oliver: Hey! Let me laugh at him! .unfair demon.  
  
Then. Kuwabara wore shorts, and Yusuke used his spirit gun on the camera to save us all. Kurama and Hiei averted their five eyes. Syi: Anna-chan just gave me a need for therapy. "Kuwabara in a Speedo." @_@ evil, evil Anna-chan. Hikari! Help me! *runs to Cat*  
  
After that, Kuwabara was dropkicked into orbit, saving us all from the agony of seeing his ugliness, hearing his atrocious voice. Finally, Hiei-kun and Kurama-kun were spared. Fully-grown-Oliver: I'll protect you, Anna-chan! *dives, shielding her eyes with his radiance* Anna-chan: *starry eyes* Oh, thank you, Oliver-kun!  
  
Cat: Ack, you two get a room! Syi: Can we get one too? Cat: .*blushes* Syi: Wow! Check out the flaming Yusuke!  
  
Koenma appeared.sucking on his pacifier. When will he grow up? Pink scarf? Hmm.is this a hint of something? Anyway, Hiei, with his multiple belts, tied up Yusuke, and left him in the forest. Then he and Kurama had some "fun" back at the kitsune's den. Oliver-kun: Fun, eh? I'd like to have some fun! Anna-chan: Really? Okay! *leads him off, glomps him* Chibi-Percy: Isn't he MINE?! *pouts in the corner*  
  
Hiei wasn't willing to put his katana away for anything, but when Kurama went youko and used Hiei's remaining belts to.um. Syi: *coughs* *bondage* *cough* Hiei: BLACK DRAGON! Shut up baka! Syi: SHADOW POWER! At least I'm not a pouf! Hiei: No, you're bi. Syi: -_- true. Both: *are knocked out* Youko Kurama: Damn.  
  
The next day, Koenma decided to look slick and wear all black. Anna-chan: Lose the pacifier, and there'll be a river of drool on the floor! He wore a kick-ass trench-coat (and clothes too, you hentai). Hiei wore a tank-top, which turned on Kurama. Kurama-kun: Hey! Don't say that! So after ravaging the sexy demon, he retired for the night, leaving a drunk Kuwabara and Yusuke alone; Koenma didn't want to get caught up in all of that. Anna-chan: *gags* Eww.Kuwabara.I thought he died already! Oliver-kun: Not yet, I'm afraid. Soon, Anna-chan, soon.  
  
For the next card, attack of the clones. Cat: Um. strange card. Syi: *plays with knife* I'm bored. *looks up* Kitty-cat, come here. Cat: *gulp* Not again Hiei: Hentai.  
  
Kurama brought out his thorn whip, ready for some.er.action. Anna-chan: *sweatdrop* Oh my God, I cannot believe I'm writing this. Hiei: Shut up, baka. It's just getting GOOD! "C'mere, Hiei. I won't bite.hard," Kurama purred. Hiei, in a trance, followed his orders. Anna-chan: .er.do I really have to continue? (not that I wouldn't want to) Hiei: Omae no korusu , you crazy baka. Keep going! Then..*sweatdrop*.um.Hiei and Kurama passionately kissed. Hiei: YES! *tear* it's so beautiful. Anna-chan: I think I'll let Neko-chan continue.  
  
Syi: *evil chuckle* We can help. Cat: Anna-chan, does this have to stay PG? *pouts* Hiei: Ignore the onna; write. Cat: Oops, time's up. *sweatdrops* Hiei: *glares* Cat: Ok, I'll keep going. "Are you sure?" "Baka kitsune, of course." Fire and ice danced across their skin. Crimson and black hair tangled together.  
  
"I wish we could stay like this forever." "So do I, kitsune." Kurama laid back, giving Hiei full-access to his heavenly body. Hiei carefully undressed the nervous kitsune, unbuttoning his clothing painfully slowly. It was amazingly enticing. Kurama was waiting, just waiting for his turn. "Oh, Hiei," he moaned as Hiei pulled off his shirt, teasing the kitsune's nipples.  
  
Syi: Shit, she can't figure out what to do. Cat: And you're not helping. Syi: Fine, I'll write the damn thing. Cat: Uh oh. Kurama arched, crying out. He rolled the fire demon onto his back, pinning his hands above his head. Gold flashed behind the green. He ran one graceful hand down Hiei's chest, tracing patterns across the skin. Hiei growled. The sound turned into a gasp as Kurama's hand ran lower. Syi: There.^_^  
  
Oliver-kun: So.so.EVIL!! Poor Anna-chan's stumped! Anna-chan: *scratches head* HMMMM.. * We interrupt this lemony part to bring a special broadcast * The weird creature has just returned to its place on Yusuke's head. Will he beat it into oblivion & suffer the consequences? Or will he leave it alone? News at 11. Anna-chan: Heh.there you go, Neko-chan.keep going.  
  
Syi: Arg, enough with the group shots. So Yusuke killed the evil creature thing and a punishment: he was made drunk for the rest of this fic. Kuwabara walked in on Hiei and Kurama, so the angry kitsune kicked his ass. So Kuwabara the plant fertilizer grew lovely flowers in Kurama's garden. Koenma had a crush on Kuwabara for some odd reason, but as soon as Kuwabara died, the spell was broken, and Botan was very surprised. Syi: Are we evil? Cat: Well, you are. Syi: I'm supposed to be, but you're not. Cat: We'll see about that.  
  
Anna-chan: Heh.plant fertilizer.heh.. "Such beautiful flowers. I'm surprised; Kuwabara was so.so.ugly. To think that from him, some form of beauty would arise," Kurama mused, cuddling with Hiei. "Feh, you'd think he'd produce weeds," Hiei grumbled, snuggling closer to the kitsune. This prompted a small chuckle from the other, an image of pestilent weeds growing from Kuwabara the plant fertilizer. "Feh, stop yer laughing," Hiei said in a mock-angry tone, leaning in to capture the kitsune's lips with his own. Anna-chan: There 'ya go. Oliver-kun: I wonder what she'll do with this.  
  
Elsewhere, various females from Yu Yu Hakusho had met in Koenma's observation room in his Rekai Palace. They were more interested in talking than in watching the screens, though. The strange creature-thing had managed to escape Yusuke's attack and came flying back to Koenma. Cat: Blame the damn card.  
  
"Die, you miserable creature!" Yusuke aimed his spirit gun closely, and shot the creature in the ass. It squealed, then scampered off, reasonably unharmed. "Damn it!! I'll teach that sonuva for sitting on my head!" "Hmmph, I didn't think you'd mind someone, or something, sitting on your face." "What the.?!! I thought Kurama turned you into plant fertilizer!" "Heh, they grabbed the wrong guy. *points at fertilizer* They grabbed my long-lost twin brother, Kuwabera. 'Guess we did really look alike, eh?" Anna-chan: Damn.just when you think that bastard's gone, he has a trick up his godforsaken sleeve.shit.  
  
For this next card, I have to wonder where Kurama's other hand is. Syi: Hentai. Yusuke was no longer drunk, but he had one mother of a hangover. He was ready to kill all three worlds, and while Hiei was ready to help destroy the Ningenkai, Kurama managed to stop them. "Damnit fox! Why did you stop us?!?" "Because Yusuke will regret it later, and you would have destroyed many good things." "Like what?" "Sweet snow." "Oh." Cat: Hiei really likes sugar. Syi: Baka, we know that. Cat: -_-  
  
Anna-chan: Ooh.I like this card.youko Kurama and reg. Kurama.*avoids table being thrown at her by Neko-chan* Kurama handed Hiei a bag of Pixy Stix, and, well, helped him eat them. Oliver-kun: Hey! We should dissolve them in Mountain Dew! Anna-chan: -_-; .baka Kurama then lay in the roses, having ridden them of thorns beforehand. "Want me to join you, kitsune?" Hiei grinned. Kurama patted the spot next to him. Anna-chan: ^.^ Yay!  
  
Suzaku of the Four St. Beasts came back. Cat: Because we support the resurrection of bishies. But he wasn't totally evil now, just evil in a sadistic but oh-so-sexy way. The other Saint Beasts were dead; No need to worry about them. Yusuke had a crush on Suzaku, so the sexy phoenix demon seduced him. Syi: Aren't you supposed to be my Hikari? Cat: I am. Syi: Are you sure? Duo: Um, that was me writing. Syi: No wonder. Aren't you supposed to be busy with Heero? Cat: Now boys.  
  
Whilst Yusuke was being willingly seduced by the very sexy Suzaku, Hiei and Kurama had their own thing going on. "Aw, man! Why are you wearing THAT?! It looks like a dress!" Hiei complained. "It's called a tunic, and it's just cut a little long is all," Kurama replied, running a hand through the demon's hair. "I could cut it for you," *shows sword*. "I'll pass, thanks. Now put that dangerous thing away. I'm trying to cuddle with you." Duo: Eh.this wasn't mine. Quatre: *grins* I'm always up for some romantic cuddling! Anna-chan: -_-;  
  
Next card: big flamy things in the background (not Kurama and Hiei). Duo: You can't write right now, can you? Cat: Nope. Syi: Baka. Cat: Shut up Yami.  
  
* Big fighting madness on this card * Oliver-kun: She's struggling. Anna-chan: .baka. -_-; Suzaku went somewhere, so Yusuke got kinda pissed; Kuwabara had scared him off. "Damn you, Kuwabara!" Yusuke aimed, and shot Kuwabara where his legs joined. "Heh, now you'll never have kids! The world is safe!" Yusuke exclaimed. Kuwabara collapsed to the ground, writhing in pain. Anna-chan: ^.^  
  
The creature-thing came back, but Yusuke was too happy to kill it. Kurama's eyes were closed and Hiei was looking down. Syi: Why? Cat: Draw your own conclusions. Ha ha, Kuwabara looks really pissed off. Syi: Wait, go back to Kurama and Hiei. Cat: We'll leave that to Anna-chan.  
  
*sigh* Another lame group shot. Hiei looks like he's about to say "Where's my contact lense?", while Kurama is just staring hungrily at him, as if to say "I wanna rip your minimal clothes off, you sex demon!" Yusuke just stood there, like an idiot, and Kuwabara.well.he was doing the same thing. Anna-chan: *yawns* That was SO interesting.  
  
OH MY GOD! It's Koenma without the pacifier! *drool* Why can't he be like this all the time? Hun, two other strange people, and oh no, Yusuke with strange yellow martial arts clothes! Syi: Anna-chan said that. Cat: But I wrote it. Aww, our lover boys are fighting back to back. And Koenma is. Syi: Worthy of the title "bishie"? Cat: *evil grin*  
  
Egad, there's some weird, nasty bodybuilder oaf in the picture! *shudders* Oliver-kun: Feh, it could be worse. Hmm.interesting.Kurama and Hiei are more than 5 ft. apart.okay, maybe not that much, but. *cringes* Kuwabara has his shirt open! *pokes out eyes*.*has hindsight* Wait a sec.now I won't be able to see bishies! *travels back in time* Okay, better now. Oliver-kun: Oh joy. -_-; Anna-chan: Shut it, Quidditch-boy.  
  
Damn group shots. One of my favorite pics of Kurama though. Hiei looks cute. Hiei: I am not cute! I am powerful and strong and you shall cower before me! Cat: *looks bored* Syi: *glares at everyone* Cat: Sorry Hiei, you are cute. Hiei: *turns blue, is distracted by Kurama*  
  
Kurama, please, do us a favorr: get rid of those god-awful shoes! Kurama: hey! I got those at the Bon Marché. Again, Koenma, the pink scarf.ick! Koenma: *sulks* At least Hiei looks cute in this pic.*starry eyes*.but Kuwabara never will!  
  
Plot: Hiei and Kurama are involved, and they have to figure out a way to tell the others. Syi: *sweatdrops* evil. "Damnit kitsune, we can't tell them!" Hiei paced. "Why not?" Kurama looked up from his math homework. "They're Ningens! He least tolerant race in the three worlds." "You aren't giving them enough credit, Hiei. I'm sure Yusuke will understand." "How can you be?"  
  
Yusuke suddenly walks in. "Hey guys! What's up?" "Damn, it's him," Hiei grumbled. "Oh, hi, Yusuke. We were just talking about you," Kurama said kindly. Yusuke looked uneasy. "Oh, you were? What's up?" he asked innocently. Anna-chan: There we go.*devil horns*.*evil grin*  
  
"Will you excuse us for a moment?" Kurama pulled Hiei into the hallway. "We are not going to tell him," the fire youkai said flatly. "Yes we are. This is a perfect opportunity! We have Yusuke alone, without Kuwabara or anyone else!" "No." "Hiei, I didn't want to tell you this, but Koenma already knows."  
  
* Anna-chan's turn that was supposed to be here made no sense; she hadn't read Neko-chan's last turn carefully enough, so we are going to spare you *  
  
"What?" "I don't know how he found out, but he spoke to me about it on our last assignment," Kurama looked annoyed, "Apparently, Botan had a bet going on whether or NOT we were gay."  
  
"Ha, of course I knew! I am the all-seeing, all-knowing Koenma!" Koenma appeared, surprising the demons. "Um, so, so modest, too," Kurama added. "Quiet, kitsune. How the Hell did you know, Koenma?!" Hiei growled.  
  
"Know what?" Yusuke walked in. "Um." Kurama sweatdropped. "Damnit, just tell him," Hiei growled.  
  
"I'll tell him! Hiei and Kurama are gay! They're a couple!" Kuwabara yelled. "Oh, is that all?" Yusuke asked, "I thought he was gonna say something worse."  
  
"And how the Hell did you find out?" Koenma asked. "Yukina told me." Kuwabara grinned. "And how did she know?" Kurama rubbed his temples.  
  
"She caught you two making out once. She thought I should know," Kuwabara replied, unfazed.  
  
"And I thought this was going to be a problem," Kurama said.  
  
"I'm gay, too," Yusuke admitted, avoiding their gaze, "See the pink shirt? I thought that'd give it way. This'll be a bitch to tell Keiko."  
  
"I thought you and Suzaku had something going." Kurama looked thoughtful. "Humans are strange," Hiei said. "Holy shit, not you too!" Kuwabara exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah. Just admit it, Kuwabara. I already know," Yusuke said quietly. "Fine, I'm gay, too." The room went silent. Finally, Kurama spoke. "Do you actually think someone would want to date you?!" Kuwabara just shrunk in his seat. But everything ended up fine. And they went off, happily ever after, gay as purple/pink/white tuxedoes. Anna-chan: *sniff* I always love happy endings.  
  
Cat: Happy endings. Yay!  
  
~Fin~  
  
Like it? Hate it? Indifferent? Let us know! Please review! Or else I won't post any more on my fics, "Heart of Glass" and "Of Snakes and Lions"! Now review it, alrighty?  
  
-reina-biggerstaff, on behalf of herself and FracturedCrystalRose 


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